The isle of ale also starring dracoand harry
by Dilapidated- queen-of-all
Summary: Don't you dare talk about cookies like that!I'm sorry will you forgive me? only if you give me a banana.hehehe ur really weird..Go 2 hell bogan
1. Chapter 1

**intro:The 7th yrs had just arrived and the opening ceremony was over with dumbledore gone a lot of students hadn't returned and to rons pleasure neither had snape.Even with dumbledore gone quite a lot of first years had come and the feast was as good as ever.Even with kreacher in the kitchen.**

**My note:Draco and harry fics roc and charlie and the chocolate factory is awesome.**

**Disclaimer:this is so not going to be amusing I own nothing of theharry potter book seriesokay .**

**summary:seventh year harrys not at school though he's introduced later on.they go to visit another school and a stranger takes harry's place.umm not much else.**

Chapter 1 The new guy

"God Ron must you be so insensitive?"questioned Hemione ,as Ron guffawed loudly .Spilling pumkin juice over the second year girl next to him ,who had just been discussing Harry and how he supposedly killed Dumbledore.

"Well come on thats nearly as bad Luna's father thinking the minister for magic is a harpy to think of it I wouldn't suprised..I mean look at Michael jackson and people say he's supposed to be human!"

said Ron as he shovelled bacon into his mouth.

"Hmpph roo erhd.."choked out Ron as he tried to talk with his mouth full.

"For merlins sake ron swallow your food." commanded Hermione almost motherly.

This time it was the second years time to laugh.Ron scowled at Hermione and continued

"As I was saying have you heard the ridiculous rumours?"

"Well of course. it's not as if everyday the chosen quits school and allegedly disappears is it?The profit is having a field day.Hopefully Rita can keep her quill to herself."

"Not bloody likely!" swore Ron.

Harry of course had decided not to return to Hogwarts but would be getting his teachings from members of "the order".He had claimed his inheritance and willingly left the Dursleys for good.He also stayed at the burrow in the holidays .Thanks to Mr Weasly's promotion it had been renovated and could rival the Dursleys home any day.Dumbledore wouldn't have wanted Harry to leave the Dursley's but Harry was surrounded by The Order what could possibly go wrong.(hehehe superior laugh)

Ron,Neville and Seamus (Dean had left) had acquired a new room mate much to their distaste.He was tall, had spikey hair ,walked with a limp and had an unfamiliar accent.Though the boy was no Harry they decided he was nice.Dean would have immediatley taken to him because of his love of soccer,Ron also had something in common with him he had a large familyhis mother,his eccentric well crazy grandmother,a paraniod little brother,twin sisters who ironically were obsessed with Harry and two older brothers.The boy's name was Topher.He had moved out of his fathers houseand had come to live with his mother.His parents were divorced.He spoke differently because his father had lived in Amsterdam.His mother lived in a little town outside of London.They were halfway through a heated discussion about quidditch when something tapped on the window.rons heart skipped a beat but slowed once he realised it wasn't Hedwig.The large brown school owl landed on the floor.

"What the ruddy hell are they sending owls at this time of night for."

"Uh..Ron it's only eight thirty." sniggered Topher.

"Right ..well "muttered Ron as he picked up the four letters the owl carried.Ron handed each to it's own and began reading.

They sat in silence nothing was heard except the sound of reading.(which is well nothing.aaaw shut up. )

"Fucking awesome!" exclaimed Seamus

the others agreed."Student exchange.There's never been one before."

"To a witches wizards and other.What the...!The school is in irelandand it's called the isle of Ale."

"Hear Hear!" Cheered Seamus raising a fist and promptly falling off his bed.

"Well I guess it's to do with our new DADA teacher..He's Irish."

"Or it's completely unrelated."

"Yeah that too.

They talked until 9 then went down to the common room.Obviously fred and Georges business was booming with about four first years with feathers,a senior with gashing wounds that weren't bleeding and someone who was walking around appeared not to have a head.

The end

**I know sucky first chapter but it does get better I promise after all it's my first story so blah.On another note has anyone seen charlie and the chocolate factory it's fricken hilarious.Ah Johnny depp your my hero.Oh and just beware It might later end up as a partial Harry Draco slash but Im not revealing anything else ...yet! **

**Mwahahahahahahahahahahaha**

**Love from The queen**

**PS the chapters will come pretty quickly at first coz I've already written them but not till I get some reviews K!**

**TaTa**


	2. oooh tough guy

**Disclaimer: I do not have rights over any of the characters if I did I wouldn't be writing on fanfiction mmkay**

**Basically pretty boring but is essential okay!please bare with me it gets better.**

Chapter 2

Hermione wasn't suprised at all that the boys dorm had a new room mate.People from the poorer wizarding schools had started coming here.They believed Hogwarts had more protection..She hurried faster If Ron didn't wake up soon he'd be late for class and breakfast.

She snuck into the room and threw back Ron's curtains and whispered "aguamenti" a jet of cold water ejected from the tip of hermione's wand and hit Ron in the face.His reaction did not dissappoint.In fact his yells woke the rest of the dorm.

"You slimey Bastard what the ...Oh what the bloody hell did you do that for" questioned Ron now alert.

"You're going to miss on"

"Eh.." was Ron's reply

"God I thought you were being killed."laughed Topher who had jumped out of bed to come to the rescue.

"You have no idea " stated Ron as he stumbled out of bed.

The others had remained used to by now Rons reactions when harshly awoken.Neville chuckled to himself as he remembered when Harry had shouted spiders in Ron's ear.Ah good times good times.

Breakfast was uneventful apart from the girls on the gryffindor table gossiping about"the new guy".

Hermione watched as Crabbe and Goyle entered the great hall.They had come back to school but now with no apparent sense of purpose.Pansy was most distraught that Malfoy had not returned.In fact if gossip be true.The Malfoy's were missing Narcissa and Draco had supposedly fled from Voldemort.The slytherins were very vicious well more so than usual towards the gryffindors as if it was their fault.

000ooooo +BLA+ ooooo000

The entire seventh year was required to attend a meeting promoting the exchange.As it happened it was to do with the new Irish teacher.Professor ..sorry...Headmaster and Professor McGonagall weel they're no she's the same person aaw forget it.

She had arranged the six week trip to loosen the pressure of seventh year and to broaden their knowledge of non-human and part human magical beings.The Isle of Ale excepted all magical beings as equals even those exiled and descriminated against.but because of that some people preffered Hogwarts.The trip was to be held in two weeks and was of no charge as the students who went would be replaced by students form the other school.

The Irish professor, Professor Oakenslate now stood at his full extent (4ft2) and proudly puffed out his chest and spoke of his former school.Ron sniggered at the sight of the little man with the booming voice but was silenced by a sharp jab in the ribs from Hermione.

They left from the meeting and ran into a girl wearing her trademark cork necklace and newly acquired foil hat.

"Hello Luna"said Hermione kindly silencing Ron with a glare.

"oh hello wish I could go on the exchange.I've always wanted to meet a flugoundiwit."said Luna

Obviously from the absent looks on her friends faces she felt obliged to give further explanation.

"They perform a ritual of slungrib .They chant and dance and then they die."She finished matter of factly.

"You have a nice day to Luna" said Ron as he steered Herione away.Luna smiled vaguely and waved ,resuming walking backwards down the corridor.Recieving quizzical looks from other students.

"Now she was defintely dropped on the head as a baby."said ron smiling

"Are you okay not down any IQ points are you?"laughed Topher as he to rounded the corner.

"She's a weird one alright but we had an interesting conversation about how pigmy puffs are designed for brain control."

Continued Topher fondly

"Actually I quite like her"said Topher

The three headed to transfiguration laughing.

"Seriously though is she single?"

: PMeowCI:

"Longbottom what is that?"Questionned Professor Mcgonagall.

"That...thats s..seamus."stuttered nevilled pointing to the giant mass of what looked like jelly with eyes.

"Is it horrible? "Asked the giant mass sorrowfully .Showering Professor Mcgonagall with cherry smelling spit.

"What was your exact phrasing longbottom?"Wearily asked the Professor rubbing her eyelids.

"I..I.. don't know" Neville said frightfully

"Great look this is going to be .The ladies are sure gonna love being asked out by a giant mass of cherry blubber"complained Seamus comically.

"Exuse me but he said _Personadegatine _and he did this.."Topher gestured wildly with his hands

"Thank you..." started Mcgonagall

"Topher Professor and it's no problem" said Topher with the wave of a hand.

" and 15 points to gryffindor for a perfect example of human tranfiguration"

Every one turned to Hermione but it was in fact Topher who modestly flicked through a book looking for a reversal charm for Justin who was still a rather haughty table.

With a flick of her wand and much chanting seamus returned exactly the same ,except for the cherry smell that he emmited.

**the end of another chapter.sigh my baby lives hehehehehehehehehehehehe I have a task can someone please give the bloody baron a name.you'll find out why in the next chapter.thank you the best name will be picked.I'd give you a cookie but they're all mine.MINE I TELLS YOU!twitch twitch**


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